


i'll do anything to love you

by Anonymous



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Hate to Love, Mean Harry, Sad Louis, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:21:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24902254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “i- I just freaked out I thought we moved to somewhere else with this, somewhere I wasn’t sure I wanted to be” Louis closes his eyes at the words he just heardHarry sounds unsure, his voice betraying him, surprising even himself.Louis refuses to turn around, praying his damned car would arrive already.“just go Harry, don’t make the girl wait all alone” Louis says hugging himself tighter wanting nothing more than for this conversation to end.--------------i just wanted a sad Louis fic so i made one
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33
Collections: Anonymous





	i'll do anything to love you

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing and i know it's not good so please take my work with with a grain of salt lol. if you have any tips or advice please leave them for me it will greatly help me. thank you.

Louis held the tray of food up in the air as he made his way through the busy diner, it’s a Friday so it’s packed more than the usual. Overly joyous teenagers laughing and being louder than their older counterparts in the next table would like. He’d just served table 9 and was headed to the back as it was the end of his shift.  
“any fun plans tonight Louis” asked George, their chef, a kind old man who made Louis’ job a little less boring and soul sucking.  
“yep me and some pals going to a club. Why, would you like to party like a filthy animal with us?”  
with an amused huff “I’m too wild for you and your little group of friends you wouldn’t stand a chance”  
“I knew you had a dark side” Louis says with an exaggerated fake gasp  
Louis was not looking forward to their night out. In fact he’d rather kick it with George. But Niall wouldn’t take no for an answer, going on and on about how Louis had abandoned them and was being a bad friend. Which he would beg to differ, since they’ve all got fancy jobs their version of a hangout was Louis’ rent for two months. Which is not their fault. if he had communicated his feelings they would accommodate him, he doesn’t have an ounce of doubt about that. But Louis’ insecurities had gotten the best of him so naturally he chose to push them away, ashamed of himself he thought it better to stick to himself.  
Not tonight though.  
He was an anxious mess leaving the restaurant and it hadn’t subsided by the time he entered his tiny flat and kicked his shoes off. It seemed to have doubled by the time he got out of the shower looking desperately at his closet, hoping maybe if he stared sadly enough it would magically present him with a new fresh outfit that would make him feel better about himself and untie the knot building in his stomach. It didn’t work.  
So dressed in all black he headed out, deciding to walk since it was only 9:30pm no one would be there before ten. He hoped the peaceful night sky would charge him up with some courage to get through the night. Honestly Louis doesn’t know when he became so dramatic and quite awful. In college he was wild and carefree. He cannot pinpoint the exact moment he lost himself, if he had to guess it was somewhere between dropping out and realizing he’d be a waiter his whole life.  
Louis was studying English literature; it was his passion. His dream was to become a writer, whether it be a book or an article in a small newspaper he just wanted to write his piece of mind and let it be known. But he quit all that, the fear of not being good enough getting the best of him.  
Too soon for his liking he sees the overly lit building of the club appear into view. He was about to cross the street to it when he spots him. Long black hair, tall legs glory getting out of a car just as expensive looking as its owner. Of course he would run into Harry first.  
Him and Harry hadn’t been the closest, they have a lot of mutual friends but Louis doesn’t think they’ve ever held a conversation for more than 20 seconds, in fact Louis was sure Harry disliked him but he can’t tell why, he doesn’t remember a time he overstepped or offended him, Harry hadn’t given him the chance even if that was the intention.  
He considers turning around, going back home and turning off his phone for a month. He mentally scolds himself before the idea gets too appealing. He’s doing this  
He crosses the street head down looking at his shoes, which is not a safe move, first listen in life, look at both sides before crossing the road. But Louis wasn’t particularly fond of his life at the moment so he’ll be reckless with it, all be damned.  
when he looks up he finds Harry looking at him, waiting with the same unreadable expression he’s always had fixated on louis. ‘what is his deal dammit’ Louis thinks flustered and bright pink. Harry’s gaze always had that effect on him.  
“hello” Louis did not mean to sound so breathless and wounded  
“hi Louis, how have you been” he says a hint of something unimpressed and a little annoyed in his voice.  
“I’m good” Louis was raised better, but he did not want to risk asking him how he is and hearing that tone that makes every insecurity he’s ever had crawl all over him.  
Harry of course doesn’t look bothered by the lack of conversation at all as he led Louis through the club and upstairs to the more private booths. Those were extremely expensive Louis already looks out of place. When they arrive at a table everyone was already there, Niall Liam and Zayn loudly cheering when they saw him. They were already tipsy, great his plans of arriving early and leaving before things get crazy flown out of the window.  
“Tomlinson you bastard” Niall screams in his ear hugging him.  
“hey Niall, hope you didn’t miss me too much” Louis says cringing at how awkward he sounds  
“seriously man where the hell have you been” Zayn spoke barely loud enough for him to hear.  
He ended up being seated between Liam and Niall in the middle.  
“this is my first time going out in months honestly, it’s just home work and work home for me” Louis smiled  
“oh are you still working at that diner” he was so overwhelmed by the anxiety of meeting his friends for the first time in months and the loud overcrowded club that he failed to notice a sixth member sitting with them  
It was Nick, he wasn’t particularly fond of Louis either, though unlike Harry, he makes sure Louis and everyone else knows.  
Louis gulps, he knows this was one of Nick’s jabs and he hates himself for letting him get under his skin  
“shall we order” Harry interrupts, speaking for the first time since they sat down, immensely grateful for the save. Did Harry just help him?  
“ah yes Harold here knows the club owner so tonight the drinks are free boys” Liam says clapping a hand on louis’ back.  
Great louis is definitely getting wasted tonight. So as the night goes his sobriety goes with it. They chat and laugh, Nick making sure to not include Louis in any conversation. Harry was quiet as usual only pitching in when needed.  
Harry feels strange seeing Louis, looking tiny swallowed inside an oversized jumper, his cheeks a lighter shade of pink from the alcohol and seemingly more relaxed now that his grip on reality wasn’t as strong. He can’t understand this feeling he gets though, and he’s not used to being uncertain and quite frankly doesn’t like it.  
He knows he could try being more friendly to Louis, yes that would be a great first step. But he confuses him too much and Harry despises him for it. So he keeps an eye on him for now and doesn’t fail to notice the way Louis cowers away like he wants to disappear out of view. But he’s such a lovely sight Harry can’t bring himself to care that he’s making him uncomfortable.  
They were talking about football, Harry completely uninterested opted to go through his emails, might as well get some work done.  
The night continues like this for hours, everyone completely drunk except him.  
Louis was resting his head on Niall’s shoulder his hair laying on his face, his sweater clammed hand loosely around his glass. Little giggles escape his lips at whatever’s Niall is saying and Harry wants to take a picture to keep with him forever.  
Louis was absolutely beautiful, and he doesn’t know why he hasn’t noticed before.  
He’s always been like this, closed off and a little cold, never made relationships last long enough for him to leave with difficulty. He recalls the few instances Louis tried to converse with him in the past, he’d always push him away with an annoyed expression or an aggressive voice. It’s his only shield against the intensity that always surrounds Louis, an intensity that pushes him into this foreign territory making him feel less in control, and god forbid he lost control.  
“Steve’s hosting a party I heard it’s great, how about we stop by?” Nick asks “we don’t have weed we kind of need him” he continues  
“fuck it lets go I’m getting bored here anyway” Zayn slurs  
“Harry?” Nick says waiting for his answer  
“yeah sure I don’t care” he really didn’t care  
“um guys” he hears a small voice as they all started gathering their stuff getting up, Harry glances over at him and sees that same nervous look in his eyes and gets that weird pain in his stomach like he wants to lunge over and protect him  
“I’m sorry, it’s already 2am and I’m super tired you should go without me” Harry doesn’t know how’s it possible Louis is looking even smaller  
“oh come on Louis we won’t go if you don’t” Niall whines  
“seriously??” Nick says in a dangerous tone and Harry snaps his head towards him giving him a warning look  
Harry knows what’s coming and by the way Louis grimaces he does too  
Nick sees Harry’s silent threat but continues nonetheless “I don’t understand why we have to tiptoe around him he’s an insufferable loser who can’t even pay for his own drinks so we have to lie so his majesty is comfortable” Harry bites his lips in anger hoping his eye is conveying how much fucked Nick is, it seems it does the trick by the way he nervously deflates a little but still a hint of determination in his posture  
He hasn’t realized Louis was standing behind him now  
“what?” his voice shaky like he’s on the verge of crying and when Harry turns around, he sees his blue eyes are shiny  
“don’t listen to him Louis he’s an asshole” Zayn says shoving Nick back  
“I’m just telling the truth, yes darling Harry’s paying for your shit tonight because we all know you’re too broke” Harry isn’t looking at Nick as he spoke eyes fixed on Louis watching how his face falls and he visibly crumbles. a gut-wrenching feeling builds inside of him at the sight.  
Nick gathers the rest of his things and storms off and Louis looks like he’s about to pass out  
“Louis..” Niall starts  
But Louis holds his finger up to stop him  
“you guys lied to me?” he says his voice sounding betrayed  
It was no secret Louis has always been sensitive and a bit insecure, and it’s all there on his face as he pieces it together in his head. Everyone looking at the ground too drunk and out of words to process the situation or try to comfort Louis. Except Harry who can’t seem to take his eyes away from him. He’s starting to think he’s a sick bastard because he thinks the look of sadness suits Louis so much. It’s beautiful.  
Louis seems to snap out of the haze he was in and looks at all of them like he’s watching his childhood home burn. He opens his mouth and closes it again several times seeming like he wants to say so much and nothing at the same, too drunk himself to think clearly.  
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience” he says stumbling to the table to get his wallet and phone that he abandoned  
“come on save me the dramatics Nick was drunk he didn’t know what he was saying” Harry says rolling his eyes, this was extremely childish to him.  
The boys still make no sound or movement watching the scene unfold  
Louis looks at him with so much hatred in his eyes he almost took a few steps back from the sheer power of it. Harry did not think Louis had it in him. However he doesn’t argue with Harry instead storming off in the same fashion Nick did. Harry staying there for a minute staring at the place Louis was standing in before snapping into action.  
They all seem way too drunk to register anything so Harry chases after him  
He runs outside the club the cold air hitting his face very much welcome. He sees Louis crossing the street and rushes to catch up  
“Louis” Harry shouts after him which makes Louis jump putting his hand on his chest glaring at him, but he never stops, instead looking ahead and walking faster.  
Patience was not Harry’s strongest suit so after walking after him for a few seconds he yanks him back by his arm bringing them face to face  
“what” he says sharply, he’s still very much drunk and out of it as he tries to free his arm  
“no need to be a little brat I just wanted to make sure you’re okay” Harry says in a harsh tone  
“well I’m fine you can let go of me” he says glaring at Harry  
After a few seconds of staring at each other, Louis with unmistakable hatred and Harry just trying to figure out how one could be so undeniably insecure and proud at the same time.  
“come on I’ll drive you home” Harry says finally ushering in the direction of his car  
“um no thanks I can walk” Louis yanks his arm back and starts walking again  
Ungrateful shit  
“it’s midnight and you’re so drunk you can’t walk straight I’m not letting you walk all the way back alone” Harry watches him silently contemplating  
Louis stops for a second with his back to Harry then turns around and marched up to him with a pointed finger  
“don’t pretend to care about me when you’ve been nothing but rude and cold to me for no good reason whatsoever” he says now right under Harry’s nose, the height difference doesn’t seem to affect him  
“I said spare me the dramatics, let’s go” Harry says looking unimpressed  
That seems to wear Louis down “fuck you” he mumbles before following Harry  
“why do you have such a big ass car god Harry” he says climbing in the passenger seat  
Harry shakes his head closing the door behind him and hopping in the driver’s seat  
“put in your address” Harry says giving him his phone  
Louis takes it and types away before handing it back and Harry starts following the directions.  
They were quiet in the car listening to the radio before Louis spoke  
“why did you come after me”  
“is it wrong to make sure a friend is alright”  
“not wrong I just thought you hated me I’m surprised”  
Harry frowns surely Louis didn’t think Harry hated him, he isn’t particularly fond of him but he wouldn’t say he hates the smaller boy  
“yes you seem to be under the false pretense that I hate you” Harry says taking his eyes off the road for a few seconds to look at him which has Louis looking away  
“I don’t know, the way you look at me and speak to me it doesn’t exactly scream fondness” he chuckles, a failed attempt at masking his insecurity  
“I don’t hate you it’s just how I am, I can come off quiet…cold as you put it” there was a moment of silence and Harry can feel Louis’ eyes on him  
“anyways Nick was being a dick I would’ve done the same if he said that to anyone else” Harry lied to both Louis and himself but no one needs to know  
“oh, I’m sure you would have” Louis says looking out the window, his fumbling hands on his lap  
They arrive at Louis’ apartment building, Harry stopping the car.  
“I’d like to pay you back for tonight” Louis says reaching for his wallet  
“look Louis”  
“No” Louis interrupts him “you all lied to me tonight and it’s humiliating enough so please tell me how much” he looks broken and defeated and Harry wants to claw his own eyes out  
Harry was speechless for a few seconds not knowing what to say  
“tonight was my treat I told the guys that but we thought you’d refuse if I told you I’m paying for everyone that’s why we didn’t tell you the truth although we didn’t completely lie that owner really is my friend so” Harry tries  
“you all think I’m a loser no need to sugar coat it” he says in small voice focusing on something between his feet  
Harry’s expression softens at the sight of the boy  
“that’s not true” he says hoping it would be enough words for Louis to believe, he’s never been good at sentiments  
“goodnight Harry” he says quietly before getting out of the car and disappearing inside the building.  
When he gets back home, he still feels like shit. his plans of getting more work done abandoned as he dried himself off from the cold shower wearing only a boxer, he turns off the lights and lays face down on the bed immediately falling asleep.

It was a few weeks later that Louis got a text from Liam inviting him over with the promise of no Nick “look it’s just the five of us at Niall’s house we’ll play whatever video games you and Niall are into and just relax” after the Nick situation he’d received texts from all three boys apologizing and making sure Louis was okay. Louis was grateful.  
so as he had the pizza duty he was walking to Niall’s front door with two large pizzas in one hand and the other ringing the door bell  
Niall opens the door letting him in and taking the pizza  
“my man” he says opening it and taking a slice  
Louis pays him no mind going into the living room to find Liam on his phone  
“hey Li” Louis says and Liam looks up smiling  
“Louis I’m so glad you’re here I can’t stand Niall” he says lifting him off his feet with a crushing hug and Louis laughs  
“fuck you” Niall says grumpily  
“where are Zayn and Harry are they not coming?” Louis tries to sound as casual as he could, why would he be anything but casual about it anyway?  
“no they’ll be here any minute now” Liam says  
Louis takes a seat on one of the couches kicking his feet up on the table watching the silenced tv  
“Louis would you mind if we got high” Niall asks him  
“what no I came here to get high”  
“okay thank god you’ve changed so much I don’t know what you’re into these days, maybe you meditate and like a clear mind or some bullshit” Niall says  
“shut up I haven’t changed I just got old okay” Louis huffs  
“are you calling me immature shithead??”  
“I am actually” Louis says sighing loudly his hand under his head  
Just then the front door opens and Harry and Zayn walk in holding bags  
“okay we’ve brought the snacks you asked for” Zayn says  
“and the plastic cups and plates you lazy fuck” Harry says throwing the bag at Niall  
“I’m not cleaning no mess”  
Harry plops down next to him which has Louis tensing up a bit mind going back to the events that happened last time he’s seen him, he’d avoided thinking about it for the most part but now with Harry next to him it was hard for his mind not to wander back.  
Harry seems to be in a good mood, his dimples deepening as proof. and so they played video games Louis beating Niall at every single one of them which has the blond grumpy eventually announcing it’s enough video games for the night and disappeared inside his room for a few seconds before reappearing with a fag in his hand  
“will you do us the honor” he hands it over to Harry  
Harry takes it between his finger bringing it up to his lips and lightning it, Louis watching his every movement. for some reason he can’t look away  
He takes a few drags before handing it to Louis, the ladder takes a long puff letting the smoke fill his lungs and keeping it inside for a few seconds before letting it out with an exhale. He hands it to Niall sitting next to him and lets his fall on the couch looking up, he feels Harry staring at him so he turns to find Harry indeed looking at him  
Their eyes stayed focused on each other for a few seconds, minutes, hours who knows?  
“stop staring it’s rude” Harry says rising his eyebrows  
“you were the one glaring at me like a creep” Louis says in a high-pitched voice in utter disbelief of this man’s audacity  
“oh you’re not that cute sweetie” Harry says, teasing him..? when did they get to the playful stage  
But what Harry did not see coming was the pillow that smacked him in the face soon followed by another pillow but this time he was more prepared  
“how old are you” Harry says a hint of amusement in his voice  
“well I’m not the one telling adults they’re not cute I mean are we in kindergarten” Louis says crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking ahead with a pout, indeed looking like a small child whose just been denied cookies before dinner  
“can you quit bickering like a married couple and put some music” Zayn says laying on the floor blowing smoke out of his lips in circles  
Louis rolled his eyes and got up to plug his phone  
“please anyone but Louis” Niall says  
“what’s your problem” Louis said extremely offended  
“your music is horrible let Harry play something” Liam spoke this time not even looking slightly remorseful at the insults they were throwing at him  
“fine” he said angry and turning to Harry “go on then bless our ears” Louis said sitting back down next to him. Harry chuckles and gets up to put on his music.

It was a few hours later when they were all extremely high and drunk, except Louis and Harry who were a little more sober than everyone else, that the other three boys had decided to make a feast, so with everyone hurtled in the kitchen, like last time it was just the two of them watching a shitty rom com on tv  
Louis feeling relaxed not a single worry on his mind all thanks to the plant he inhaled in his system  
“I’m genuinely jealous of people in movies” Louis says looking at the male lead chase after a girl in the rain  
“why” Harry says his gaze now fixed on Louis  
“isn’t it obvious?? Everything works out eventually, you find out everything you’ve been through wasn’t for nothing and not to mention you get the person you wanted in the end, it’s unfair” he explains sounding a little too passionate about such a silly subject. It really is sad he thought to himself  
“not all movies have happy ending and besides you could have all these things you mentioned in real life” Harry says nonchalantly eyes still on Louis  
Louis now looking back at him, he wonders why he had to be so attractive  
“easy for you to say” Louis says bitterly rolling his eyes  
Of course Harry would think it’s easy to have everything he wanted  
“what’s that supposed to mean” Harry says  
“rich handsome Harry of course gets the girl in the end” Louis says in a mocking tone which seems to have done a great job at aggravating Harry, the soft look on his face now replaced with a frown  
“you don’t know anything about me and please spare me all the self-pity it’s pathetic” Harry says turning his head to look back at the tv  
Louis wished he hadn’t opened his mouth, in his defense he didn’t know Harry would be so offended, and he doesn’t know what hurt him more, the words or the tone in which he said it. He always thought everyone secretly felt sorry for him and he was mortified of it so Harry’s words didn’t help his case.  
Feeling like an absolute fool he nods his head at nothing in particular  
“since your asshole mode kicked in I’m gonna go look for someone more fun” he says standing up his buzz absolutely killed  
Instead of dwelling on words he enters the kitchen to find Niall and Liam sprawled on the floor eating scrambled eggs  
“really? Eggs that’s the best you can do” but they seemed so proud of their creation they didn’t even look up to acknowledge his presence  
Realizing they’re hopeless he decides to look for Zayn and finds him in one of the guest bedrooms laying on the bed with a pencil and paper scribbling something  
“what are you doing” he says looking at the paper seeing a drawing of batman buying fruit?  
”just a sketch, what do you think” he says showing Louis the little art and he giggled  
“this’s awesome I wonder where you got the inspiration from” how high Is he?  
“batman gotta eat too you know” Zayn says defending his masterpiece

“he’s rich he has people who do the shopping for him babe”  
“he likes shopping himself sometimes, he finds it relaxing” Zayn says examining the paper as if to ask batman if his statement is true, unfortunately there was no reply.  
Zayn has always been the artistic one, quiet but lethal when he wants to be and Louis wonders what it feels like to be so well composed and seemingly in control of his emotions, while he crumbles in front of everyone at the smallest inconvenience.  
They lay there staring at the ceiling for a while in comfortable silence  
“I’m so jealous of you” Louis blurts out and when he doesn’t get answer he continues “you’re like everything I wish I was as a person, so in control so…confident” Louis turns to look at him. Zayn was so quiet and unfazed Louis thought he didn’t hear his little confession.  
It took a few seconds for Zayn’s answer  
“I’m neither of those things, you only feel this way because you think everyone else can see how vulnerable you are and judges you for it, your own insecurities are only loud in your brain no one else can see them Louis” Zayn says concentrating on the fan spinning above them  
And wow Louis has never had anyone tell him that and he’s taken aback, he’s never thought about it that way and he doesn’t know if it’s whatever’s left in his system from the weed that made him do it but he smacks his lips against Zayn’s, his body reacting on its own his brain having no control  
He’s petrified for a second before Zayn starts moving his lips against his own and they make out for god knows how long before they were interrupted by Niall’s scream from the doorway  
They look to see what happened and find the three boys looking at them with shocked expressions, Harry’s mouth hanging wide open  
“what’s your problem” Zayn says smacking Louis’s butt as he got up and Louis shrieks embarrassed  
“you could’ve invited me to this make out session” Niall says trailing behind Zayn and Liam chuckling follows them which leaves Harry alone with Louis again, seriously?  
He just stands there gawking at Louis making him extremely uncomfortable  
“what” Louis raises an eyebrow at him  
Harry just shakes his and leaves, what the fuck is his problem  
Louis doesn’t have the energy to care at the moment so he stays on the bed eyes fluttering open and shut drifting in and out of consciousness  
But he’s being awakened from his peaceful state by the bed dipping behind him. Another body joining him on the bed. He stays unmoving just staring at the wall ahead of him  
“you’re so easy to make sad” he hears Harry’s voice  
Louis turns to look at him their faces inches apart due to the small bed  
“and you’re so good at being an asshole”  
“what can I say you’re an easy prey”  
Louis shouldn’t like being so close to him, their proximity leaves nothing untold or hidden. He gets a full of Harry’s greens and he doesn’t know if he’s still breathing or not,  
He can’t resist touching his face but the curly haired boy doesn’t protest so Louis traces his fingers on his cheek and sharp jaw wanting to feel as much of him as he can  
He catches Harry’s eyes glancing at his lips and Louis inches a tiny bit closer. but the small movement seemed to have made the other boy snap out of it  
Harry quickly gets up and walks out. leaving a confused Louis behind. The blue-eyed boy’s head was spinning from Harry’s weird mood swings.  
He waits a few moments to make sure Harry left before slowly walking out of the room to a dead quiet house. He puts on his shoes and closes the door behinds him as he sets for home.  
The way Harry acts around him will always be a mystery, it seemed the taller boy himself doesn’t know how to feel about Louis and Louis was sick of waiting for him to figure it out.  
Over the course of two months him and Harry grew pretty close to his surprise. Harry spends most of his time at Louis’ small flat or Louis goes over to his. They talk about everything and nothing. Harry seems to enjoy his company so he must be doing something right.  
“Niall wants us to go camping” Harry says as he’s chopping a carrot for the soup he’s making them  
“what does he know about camping” Louis says skeptically from his place atop the counter next to Harry. He doesn’t participate in the cooking. just observes.  
“eh it’s not rocket science my main concern is dirt and inconvenience” the tall lad says scrunching his nose  
“you’re such a snob” Louis says rolling his eyes fondly  
“yeah am i??” Harry suddenly drops the knife and starts tickling Louis until the smaller boy’s face goes slightly blue from laughing and lack of breathing  
Harry stops when their faces are inches apart, Louis doesn’t breathe, scared any kind of movement will make Harry leave like the last time.  
The green eyed boy gets impossibly close, their noses now touching, Harry glances up to Louis’ eyes for a silent confirmation before attaching their lips.  
A million stars explode in Louis’ stomach as he moves his lips slowly against Harry’s soft ones, Harry deepens the kiss and their tongues dance together for a while before Louis slowly traces his hand down the taller man’s chest, and then his torso finally sopping just an inch above his crotch. Harry’s breath hitches as Louis starts to stroke him.  
Harry quickly gets him off the counter their lips never disconnecting as they blindly make their way to the couch. Louis falls back first with Harry on top of him, the green-eyed man gets up to fumble with his belt and Louis took it as his cue to pull his pants down as well.  
He doesn’t get the chance to catch his breath as Harry was back on him in a second. He couldn’t help the sinful noises escaping him when Harry grabs his cock and starts slowly pulling at it, his lips agape with Harry’s tongue still inside his mouth. He soon gets a handful of the curly haired boy’s member and start quickly jerking him off, their movements in sync. Breathy moans filled the room, Louis was not sure who’s making them at this point, his mind foggy from all the pleasure and the intensity of Harry’s irises, filled with lust, seemed to push him over the edge and he comes with a load moan mouth still open feeling Harry finish in his hand as well.  
They stay in this awkward position for a few more minutes, breathing hard waiting for their senses to come back. Harry’s back suddenly going rigid was his first indication something was wrong, the other boy doesn’t make any sound as he slowly got up, and still nothing was said when he pulled his pants up and only when he exited the room that the sinking feeling dawned on him. He couldn’t help feeling like he was just used and then thrown away. Like something cheap and unworthy.  
Did Harry regret what they did?  
Louis hugs himself feeling far too exposed and cold, not the coldness brought by chilly weather and icy wind, but that coldness that comes from a horrible feeling at the pits of his stomach and rumbling inside his rib cage. And no matter how tightly he wraps his arms around himself the shiver still runs through him.  
Louis takes his time, hoping Harry would come out and tell him how silly he is for thinking that he would leave him hanging without as much as a word to dignify him after their intimate act. But Harry never came so with his heart crushed in his hand Louis quietly left the house.  
Louis did not take the humiliating feeling well, his self esteem was at an all time low and he just hated everything. He hadn’t seen or heard from Harry in days. And as much as Louis wanted to he couldn’t bring himself to regret being so close to the green eyed boy, even if it was fleeting and even after Harry had stomped on his chest when he left Louis without a word, like he couldn’t believe he would commit such a heinous act. It was hard for the smaller boy to admit it to himself but he’d fallen for Harry. the past few months were heaven and Louis wished he hadn’t ruined it.  
Today Niall has a business event of some sorts and wanted all of them there. Louis decided he’s been dwelling for too long. They’re grown men surely they can be mature about this, and if Harry thinks Louis is so terrible he can’t get over it well that’s his problem. Sometimes the only way the blue-eyed boy can get through something is by lying to himself, you know fake it till you make it kind of thing.  
When he gets there it’s a huge mansion, everyone looks expensive and Louis already decided which corner he’ll spend his night standing in. he looks for Niall to find him by the open bar talking to someone so Louis slides next to him without a sound not wanting to interrupt.  
Only after their conversation ended and Niall looked like he was about to leave, not having noticed Louis since his back was turned to the boy, did Louis speak  
“hey Ni” Louis finally spoke  
Niall swiftly turned around with a wide grin  
“shit you came out of nowhere sneaky bastard” Niall says giving Louis their usual half hug  
”I’ve been standing here for 10 minutes you should pay more attention to your surroundings sweet boy it could save your life one day” Louis says leaning back on the bar with his elbows looking at the people in front of him  
“you talk a lot of shit do you know that. What do you want to drink?”  
“I want what all the rich people are having”  
“it’s water then” Niall holds his hand up to get the bartender’s attention  
Hell no Louis is not staying sober tonight  
“fuck that just get me champagne”  
Niall hands him his drink and then excuses himself, something about “networking and shit”. Niall’s words.  
Louis heads over to one of the corners and sets his drink on one of the many tall tables and gets his phone out ready to pretend to be busy. A quick glance at the crowd and Louis spots him.  
Looking as handsome as ever in a black suit he takes Louis’ breath away. His heart hurt because Harry was so beautiful how could Louis let himself believe he could have him, and like rubbing salt on his wounds the curly haired man takes a few steps deeper into the room Louis sees he has his arm around the prettiest girl Louis’ ever seen, she was gorgeous.  
Taking a shaky breath Louis glues his eyes on his phone not at all paying attention at whatever his phone is displaying. His hands are now trembling and he feels dizzy. He was so lost in his head he didn’t notice the people approaching him.  
“this party sucks ass I’m sorry I dragged you into it but I can’t go through it alone” Niall says snapping Louis out of his trance.  
He looks up to see Niall, Harry and the mysterious girl are standing around him. Harry had his hands in his pocket frowning at Louis.  
He wants to scream at him that he doesn’t get to look at Louis like that, like he’s an inconvenience…like he’s worthless.  
He’s so cruel he doesn’t show Louis mercy even with his eyes.  
The girl next to him is looking at Louis curiously and he prays she doesn’t initiate any conversation with him. He doesn’t know if he can handle it. She looks at Harry and ushers him to lower his head so she can whisper something his ear. Harry clears his throat at whatever she said and straightens his posture.  
“Lily this’s Louis, Louis this’s lily” Harry says having the decency to at least look a little uncomfortable  
“pleasure to meet you” Louis says politely  
“the pleasure is all mine! It’s our first date and it’s such a pressure to meet all of his friends already I wanted him to tell me about all of you but he forgot to mention you” she says and Louis thinks she sounds genuine not at all meaning to dig at him.  
He wanted to just run out of there.  
“he could be forgetful sometimes I guess” Louis says smiling weakly  
it was their first date, so Harry is capable of dates and doing couple-y things he just doesn’t want them with Louis. He knows he shouldn’t be affected by it, he knows his confidence and self-esteem shouldn’t be altered by whether Harry wants him or not, but he is and he can’t help it.  
Niall seemed to have sensed the tension judging by the awkward look on his face. And lily was looking between himself and Harry, like she knows something is wrong but she can’t figure out what. The blue-eyed boy didn’t plan to stick around long enough to see her piece it together  
“would you look at the time, I have an early day tomorrow Nialler you will have to excuse me” Louis says his voice an octave higher than the usual, indication of something horribly off.  
“okay are you alright heading back home alone? I thought I was gonna give you a ride” Niall says warily  
“yeah mate I’m all good” Louis would crawl home if he had to, not wanting to be under Harry’s hot gaze anymore  
“it was nice to meet you lily” he nods at her and quickly walks off.  
He walks a safe distance away from the huge house before getting his phone out and ordering a ride. It was freezing and all Louis could do was grumpily shove his hands in his pockets.  
“Louis” he hears  
This bastard has some nerves.  
Louis chose to ignore him as the curly haired boy approached slowly, like he was careful not to set a bomb off.  
“look-“  
Louis stopped him before he could finish his sentence  
“no Harry I don’t wanna do this, I don’t want to hear what you have to say. You had your chance when I was on your couch, you had your chance when I was waiting for you for days, but you didn’t. so you don’t get to speak to me now out of necessity, to save face” Louis says it all in one breath, hands wrapped around his middle not facing the taller boy.  
“i- I just freaked out I thought we moved to somewhere else with this, somewhere I wasn’t sure I wanted to be” Louis closes his eyes at the words he just heard  
Harry sounds unsure, his voice betraying him, surprising even himself.  
Louis refuses to turn around, praying his damned car would arrive already.  
“just go Harry, don’t make the girl wait all alone” Louis says hugging himself tighter wanting nothing more than for this conversation to end  
“this’s unfair, you just, you can’t punish me for not wanting to be with you” the older of the two blurts  
Louis now turns to look at him in disbelief  
“no one is slapping you on the back of your hand Harry” the smaller man sighs evidently more broken down.  
They stay silent for a few seconds until his ride finally pulled up.  
“ride for Louis” the man in the cars asks, oblivious to the war currently happening between the two.  
Louis shakes his head at Harry and slips inside the car not daring to look behind as they drove away.  
It was two weeks since he saw Harry. it was a Tuesday evening at the dining, this time around it was always empty. He was cleaning up counters at the back when George told him someone requested him at the front. He washed his hands and made his way over. Stopping in his tracks when he saw who it was.  
Harry was standing at the cashier nervously smiling at him.  
“I’ll take my break now” he informs his manager and walks out, not wanting to be humiliated in front of his coworkers. Harry’s soft footsteps behind him tells him he’s following.  
When they’re out of the small restaurant Louis crosses his arms in front of him and looks at Harry.  
“I know you probably hate me” Harry says pausing for a second before continuing “and rightfully so. You just have to know this alright? I really like you and I realized I didn’t know how to be with someone that I actually liked, not someone to pass time with because I’m bored. And that scares me Louis, I know it sounds like bullshit but it’s how I feel and if you just gave me another chance I’ll make it up to you” he says. His eyes growing wider at the last part of his speech.  
Louis knows he can never deny him, he knows it’s unhealthy that he would drop everything and run to him if Harry asked him to. He’s so very in love so he does the only thing his head is 100% sure about.  
He lunges forward, grabs Harry’s face and kisses him. At first the green-eyed boy was taken aback but it didn’t take him long to melt into the kiss. Louis pulls away, his hand still grabbing Harry’s face.  
“you can’t hurt me, you can’t pull that shit and leave me hanging. Ever. Do you hear me?” Louis says teary eyed.  
“I promise” Harry says dipping back in for another kiss.


End file.
